CAT REJECTS $60 ORTHOPEDIC BED, CLAIMS THE CARDBOARD BOX IT ARRIVED IN

AA premium memory-foam cat bed ordered specially for a Scratchmont feline named Sir Reginald has gone entirely unused since its arrival Monday, after the cat instead took possession of the cardboard box it was shipped in and has refused to leave.

The bed, described by its purchaser as "orthopedic, temperature-regulating, and reviewed very well," was unpacked and placed in a sunny corner with what the household called "high hopes." Sir Reginald investigated it for four seconds, sneezed, and walked away.

He then climbed into the empty shipping box, sat down, and, according to witnesses, "settled in like he'd signed a lease."

"I spent sixty dollars," said the cat's owner, standing beside the untouched bed. "He's sleeping in free garbage. He looks so happy. I've never seen him this happy."

Sources close to the box report that Sir Reginald has claimed it as sovereign territory and now defends its borders with quiet intensity. Attempts to recycle the box were abandoned after the cat was found sitting in it again within minutes of its removal, "somehow already inside it before I'd finished putting it down," the owner said.

The rejected bed remains in the corner, pristine and untouched, described by one family member as "a monument to my optimism."

Feline behavior officials note the outcome was entirely predictable. "The box is the correct choice," one observer said. "It is his size. It has walls. It smells like the outside. The bed is a stranger. We keep learning this lesson and we keep buying the beds."

Sir Reginald could not be reached for comment, as he was inside the box, and the box was, at the time of publication, non-negotiable.